Bees Are Assholes! Nuts by Alice Clayton

Posted October 30, 2015 by Jennifer in Book Review | | 4 Comments

Bees Are Assholes! Nuts by Alice ClaytonNuts by Alice Clayton
Series: Hudson Valley #1
Narrator: Shayna Thibodeaux, Sebastian York
Published by Simon & Schuster Audio on 10-20-2015
Genres: Contemporary Romance
Format: Audiobook
Length: 8 hours and 56 minutes
Source: Purchased
Audio | Goodreads
four-stars
three-half-flames

From New York Times bestselling author Alice Clayton comes the first in a brand-new romance series telling the humorously sexy tale of Roxie, a private chef who gets a taste of love—but is it to stay, or to go?

After losing almost all of her clients in one fell swoop following an accident involving whipped cream, private chef to Hollywood’s elite Roxie Callahan gets a call from her flighty mother, saying she’s needed home in upstate New York to run the family diner. Once she’s back in the Hudson Valley, local organic farmer Leo delivers Roxie a lovely bunch of walnuts, and soon sparks—and clothing—begin to fly. Leo believes that everything worth doing is worth doing slowly … and how! But will Roxie stay upstate, or will the lure of West Coast redemption tempt her back to Tinseltown?

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Nuts by Alice Clayton is everything a woman wants in her nuts, warm, salty and lickable. Grab a hand full today!

Small town gal, Roxie couldn’t get out of her upstate New York hometown, Bailey Falls fast enough. So she left at eight-teen for California and a career as a chef. Roxie cooked for the bleached and plastic in California and when one client freaked out about her dinner being a couple of minutes late and her precious nightly coffee being messed up she fires Roxie and then has her blacklisted among the rich and bitchy. (Fun cameo by Jack and Grace from Alice Clayton’s Red Head series. I need to get back to that series and finish it.)

So when Roxie’s flaky Mom pulls her back home to run the family diner for the summer, Roxie goes in hopes of taking a break from California but has plans to return. But Roxie slowly realizes that the town she left is not the same now. One big difference is the sexy farmer, Leo.

I laughed so hard when I heard the following scene that my 9-year-old son came running into the room to ask me what I was laughing at. I told him the book I was listening to. He asked what the joke was about. I said nothing. He then said, is it inappropriate.  I answered back, yes, it’s very inappropriate. He told me that inappropriate wasn’t funny. I replied back that yes, adult humor was very funny and that he would understand when he was older.

 

LMFAO Quote!

“. . . Nothing beats a Rabbit.” Natalie paused. “Although a tongue is a close second.”

“It has to be the right tongue, though,” Clara interjected. “Attached to the right face.”

“Not always. Some of the best sex I’ve ever had is with ugly guys. That guy I dated last year who worked on the trapeze, down at South Street Seaport? Face like a shovel, but holy shit, could he give fantastic head,” Natalie said, examining her pedicure.  “I mean, some guys just get so into it – like, you’re ready to black out, it’s so good, and it’s almost too much, and you’re like , hello, I just came, like, eleven times in a row. But they keep on going” they could keep that shit up all night long. I swear, some guys just live to be facedown in it twenty-four-seven: they’re not happy unless they’ve got some girl’s thighs wrapped around their head and a tongue full of pussy. I’ve always wondered, when you clamp down around their head, y’know, lock on when you go full freeze, if it plugs their ears, kind of like when a plane reaches cruising altitude? And when you finally let go, do their ears pop?”

 

About Alice Clayton

Alice Clayton worked in the cosmetics industry for over a decade before picking up a pen (read: laptop). She enjoys gardening but not weeding, baking but not cleaning up, and finally convinced her long-time boyfriend to marry her. And she finally got her Bernese Mountain Dog.

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Jennifer

Owner/Blogger at The Book Nympho
I coexist with my husband of 15 years, our 11-year-old son and two chilled cats in the Deep South.

After 17 years I've finally finished my BA in English (no I do not want to be a teacher). Before majoring in English I would not have touched anything labeled "classic", but I have enjoyed a few along the way in my college career.

While I hated to read growing up, I am now an avid book reader and audiobook listener. I love rejecting reality one book at a time. I only read fiction within my favorite (at least to date) genres which include: most romance (paranormal, contemporary, D/s, BDSM, M/M)Urban Fantasy, and a few YA (mostly PNR or UF from favorite adult authors, but I'm slowly stepping out of my comfort zone after enjoying a few contemporary YA novels in adolescent literature class I took).
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